A year and a day. - Tyler @ 5:00 PM EST 02/18/02
Welcome back to all those who thought this site was dead. You are wrong. A year off and nothing has changed. People are still assholes, pretending they rule the world, forgetting that everyone is equal.

 
The end? - Tyler @ 7:45 PM EST 2/17/01
Due to lack of time and inspiration, this site will not be updated any longer. We appreciate all your loyalty and emails, but for the time being the site will cease to be updated. Keep the ideas and feelings strong and dont forget what is truly important in life. Maybe I will return one day.

 
Some Helpful Hints - Tyler @ 8:05 PM EST 2/15/01
Even though this site may be about freeing animals and the like, the Animal Liberation Front has some very helpful hints on how to create some mischief and mayhem on businesses and corporations, as well as the no good "rich guy".
Animal Liberation Front's destruction tips

 
Industrial Revolution - Tyler @ 6:35 PM EST 1/2/01
I am afraid of what the world might become in the next hundred years. The last hundred years has taken so much of a toll on the environment and the planet, that another hundred years will completely destroy it. Over the last century, the earth itself has seen the invention and turmoil of the industrial revolution. Smokestacks pouring blacklung into the air, styrofoam piling up in the landfills, unnatural combinations of chemicals so vile it's slowly killing us. One day we will all die off and the Earth will rebuild itself, there is no way we can stop it now, we have gone too far.

 
The New Millenium - Tyler @ 6:20 PM EST 1/2/01
Well, the new millenium is upon us. Does anybody think that things are going to change? All it means is that we are in for a lot of new items we dont need. Bigger screen TV's, faster luxury cars, 500+ cable channels at the tips of your fingers, online shopping faster and easier than you could ever imagine. The consumers paradise. Every advance in technology doesn't bring us closer, it drives us apart. Now you can do all your shopping from home, no need to go the store or mall. Cell phones will keep you in contact, but in the meantime let you disregard any unwanted calls. Working from home is becoming a larger option nowadays, you no longer have to go to the office and talk to the boss and deal with coworkers. Things become easier and more reliant on technology, that someday, half the jobs in America will be obsolete and replaced with computers and machinery. We have a lot to look forward to.

 
The Righteous Automobile Drivers - Tyler @ 6:00 PM EST 1/2/01
Have you ever noticed that people who drive luxury cars think they own the road. They seem to think that because they paid more for their automobiles that they can do what they want. For example yesterday I see this asshole sitting in his Mercedes Benz truck in front of a restaurant. Because he thinks that he can park where he pleases, other drivers and pedestrians have to suffer. Another car was trying to get past the parked elitist, ut the two lane street was converted to a one lane street. The driver had to be aggressive to get around and compete with other traffic, and in the process a pedestrian who was walking to the parking lot almost got hit by another car. So you'r e probably saying "who cares", but that's not the point. Because of these rich elitists assuming that they can park where they want, act how they want, and feel as if they are better than others, make this world worse. People get road rage and street rage because of people like this. These type of events like I just described rarely escalate to a horrid point, but every day people are become less aware of others and their feelings. One day it's going to turn into a social civil war and most of us are going to have to take sides. The poor versus the rich. Fuck money and the power it possesses.

 
Homework Assignment - Tyler @ 2:35 AM EST 12/6/00
This homework assignment is simple. Anyone can do it. What is the most common thing in the world? Money, we all have some, we all spend it. Here's where we tell people the truth about it. Dig into your wallets. Take out your bills, grab a pen. Now's the time to be creative. Tell someone how America is spending too much money on things they dont need. Some examples might be "Greed is a sin", or "Money is the root of all evil". If you have large bills such as $50.00 or $100.00, write something like "Do you know how many hungry mouths this bill can feed?". Like I said be creative, send me some of your ideas and I'll post them up on the site.

 
Physical Labor - Tyler @ 2:30 AM EST 12/6/00
The people who make your life easy are the people who tend to get shit on. The everyday blue-collar worker gets no respect nowadays. Businessmen scoff at them and their "poor" existence, while they go get blowjobs by their secretaries in some highrise. What they dont know is that we control it all. We'll see how they like it, when all of a sudden their garbage isn't picked up, their mail undelivered, their grass not cut. How would they like it if no one was there to give their expensive import car a tune up? Would they care if there was noone to wait on them during their power lunches or business dinners? Respect should be given to all blue-collar workers, because we run everyones lives, they just don't know it. Wake up America!

 
Billboard Liberation Front - Tyler @ 1:20M EST 11/28/00
These activists have made people think about the products that corporations are shoving down our throats. Congratulations.

Billboard Liberation Front

 
reinforcement of ideals - Tyler @ 1:30 PM EST 11/27/00
Source
New gadgets feed commitment phobia.
By Kendra Hurley
I'm in a bar on the Lower East Side of Cell Phone Central (a.k.a. Manhattan). Across the counter, a man and woman perch on Art Deco swivel stools, talking with an urgency particular to first, or second, or maybe charmed third dates. She's wearing a lavender Lycra shirt, twirling her hair as she laughs, nods and shakes her head. He's dapper and earnest with a turquoise button-down shirt, darty eyes and a shock of black hair. He's a good storyteller. You can tell that even from here, what with the way he leans toward her and then pauses in a moment of dramatic tension as if to announce the beginning of something really fascinating. And then, just as he touches her wrist, just as he squints his eyes dramatically, just as he prepares to spring for what must be the punch line, he freezes, looks down, jerks upright, and whips out ... a cell phone. Another moment ruined. Killed by a cell.

Once upon a time, when you left home or the office, you were "out." Unavailable. You could do what you wanted with whomever you wanted, and at most a privileged few knew your whereabouts. You knew what it meant to "leave it all behind" and be free. You also knew what it meant to commit to being where you were and whom you were with, at least for the moment. Now, the majority of working Americans can't stay calm in the moment even during their time off. Sixty percent of workers nationwide brought mobile technology on their vacations, according to an Andersen Consulting survey. Thirty-three percent checked their voicemail; of those who brought laptops, 61 percent checked e-mails. And cell phones? 46,000 new users emerge each day, reports Business Week. Almost no one who owns a cell leaves home without it. I myself won’t buy a cell, but in moments of weakness I’ve wondered if I should. It’s tempting to think cultivating chronic availability would lead to last-minute invites — cheers over chocolate martinis! dips on the dance floor! — that might otherwise elude me. But I suspect that actually I’d become a mere slave, trapped in that peculiar state of wireless limbo, forever waiting, forever longing for the next (and always better) cell summons. For the cell user, the question is no longer that of the lone cowboy: “OK, am I alone now? Finally?” But the more ambiguous: “Should I be reached? Do I want to be reached? Would I be missing out if I can’t be reached? Are the plans I’ve made the best to be made?” And usually, the disappointing decision: “I dunno. Might as well bring the cell, you know, just in case.” Even us radicals who refuse to own cell phones pay the price.

It's Friday night. I'm on my way out the door, about to meet Heather for some long overdue Quality Time. The phone rings. It's our mutual friend on his cell, scurrying down some distant street, gauging his nightlife options. His voice fades in, fades out. Then I hear: "Call me later on Heather’s cell. I might know of a party. Let’s all try and meet up. If you don't reach me, keep calling." I grimace, knowing what's ahead if I agree to this circumspect plan. I'll be a victim of secondhand cell hell. The whole evening will be squandered "checking in," with updating plans becoming the night's central activity. I might as well be 16 with a curfew. But I'm also intrigued. Maybe Heather and I will want company. Maybe we'd enjoy a party. Whose party is it, anyway? Who’ll be there? Am I dressed appropriately? Should I bring anything? I say I'll call.

As teen-agers, my mother's generation had a similar relationship with phones. I picture bedrooms of girls with bouffant hair and poodle skirts listening to dreamy songs while staring longingly at their rotary dials, waiting for that special call. Then, for a glorious, fleeting, historical moment, even teen-age girls no longer waited, phone-side, with the usual ardor. It became officially sanctioned for girls to call first or call back or to not call at all. And we could all — girls and boys alike — be out in the world, exploring. But now, we're back to pining. Cell phones give us the illusion that we're thoroughly modern. But really, we're no different from a '50s gal trapped in NeverNever land, waiting for that one perfect call that will make our lives — or at least our evenings — complete. Sure, we're waiting in the bar instead of bedside. But we're still waiting. Don't get me wrong. I realize that cell phones have their uses: parents, presidents and doctors are all better off on-call. And I've heard testimony of personal growth via the cellie. (One young man insists that having personal conversations through his cell phone, in public places, taught him to stop worrying about what strangers thought of him.) But for the rest of us, I have to ask: Do we really need to be so accessible? Have our lives become that urgent? Or have cell phones become another means to keep one foot perpetually out the door? Why not, instead, stick that foot out each time a cell phone walker and talker passes, obliviously, by? Why not trip them and see what happens? Surely the ambulance won’t allow cell phones? Sometimes I dream of the days before roaming calling plans, that time as recent as five years ago when whole yoga classes passed undisturbed by jarring, electronic beeps; when high school teachers debated the ethics of nuclear disarmament, not cell phone confiscation; when personal contact still trumped phones. I dream of parties and potlucks and even office powwows where everyone's content to be where they are, where no one's ducking with anxious forehead into the corner, checking messages, placing strategic bootie calls, pacing, waiting, worrying, wondering about the next, more pressing, more preferable, more hip and cutting-edge happening going on somewhere, somehow, at this very moment. Winona LaDuke, the running mate for Ralph Nader’s maverick presidential campaign, says that every decision we make should take into account seven generations henceforth. Cell phones have helped my generation commit to not committing. Will generations to come ever know the sweet joys of being inaccessible?

 
Fuck the world - Tyler @ 2:05 AM EST 11/24/00
I'm so fucking sick of seeing the people that inhabit this country. Everyone is beginning to piss me off at the mere sight of them walking past me. Designer this, custom leather that. Their beautiful faces, the perfect haircut, their cars who's only function is to be an extension of their dicks. Fuck them, and fuck their Rolexes. When are they going to learn that when you are rich and flaunt your wealth by wearing it on body or parking it in your driveway, only a small fraction of the population is going to give a shit, the rest will either kill you out of jealousy or mock you behind your back. People have to have everything their fucking way. Look at this fucking election, it's been two weeks since the election and they cant fucking count a few thousand ballots? What is the hold up? Dont they realize that no matter who the new president is, that nothing will change? Sure a few little things here and there, but in 4 years the same people who voted him into office will be complaining that their taxes are too high, that social security sucks, the homeless need help, and pollution is bad. Fuck those pricks, fuck them all.

 
Thanksgiving - Tyler @ 1:35 AM EST 11/20/00
In a few days it will be the time of year when all the families get together to eat turkey, get fat, and watch football, in order to celebrate the white man trying to make good with the Indians after they raped their land. How convenient that we always forget that part?

 
Brand names and logos - Tyler @ 1:25 AM EST 11/20/00
"I'm tired of being unable to buy clothing that doesn't have writing and printing all over it. Insipid sayings, psuedo-wisdom, cute slogans, team logos, designer names, brand trademarks, small business ego trips; the marketing pigs and advertising swine have turned us all into walking billboards. You see some asshole walkin' by, and he's got on a fruity Dodger hat and a Hard Rock Cafe T-Shirt. Of course you can't see the shirt if he's wearing his hot-shit Chicago Bulls jacket. The one that only 50 million other loser jock-sniffers own. And since this cretinous sports fan/consumer zombie is completely for sale to anyone, he rounds out his ensemble with FedEx sneakers, ValuJet socks, Wall Street Journal sweatpants, a Starbucks jock strap, and a Microsoft condom with Bill Gates' head on the end of it. No one in this country owns his personal appearance anymore. America has become a nation of obedient consumers, actively participating in their own degradation."

-George Carlin

 
National Smokeout Day - Tyler @ 1:20 PM EST 11/18/00
Thursday was the National Smokeout day where you are supposed to quit stop smoking for the day. What the fuck is that? Instead Isomked twice as much to make up for the next guy who didn't smoke that day. No one should be able to run my life or tell me what to do. Yes I know it's bad and I'm still gonna do it.

 
Things that own us #2 - The TV. - Jack @ 1:00 PM EST 11/15/00
They say guns don't kill people, people do. Same thing goes for technology. In itself, technology isn't bad, it's how we use it. Let's talk about TV for a minute. It can inform, teach, and entertain us. Or it can imprison us.
There is a thin line between owning and being owned.If you are going to watch the news, that's nice. It's okay to be informed of the world around you. If you are going to believe everything they say, you have crossed the line. Watch. Decided.
Some people are so addicted to their shows, it's pathetic.
When you run home to watch Dawson's Creek, when you set your VCR to record Friends, when you drop everything to catch up on Neighbors, then, my friend, you have crossed the line. You have crossed the fucking line.
Watch an interesting football match with your buddies. Don't watch every match, every day, all year.

Fuck Martha Stewart. Fuck Oprah Winfrey. Fuck ' Who wants to be a millionaire'.

When you cross the line, the networks becomes your religion, newscasters become your God, the commercials are you prayers, the program sheet your Holy Book.
Sitting on the coach, beer in one hand, the beam of light dances on the screen, hypnotizing you, preaching to you, grabbing you, wanting you, pulling you inside, sit, sit, sit, don't move, don't change the channel, buy, buy, BUY!

Switch it off, put a T-shirt on, and come to the basement. Blood on your fists is much more fun than watching Roseanne. And a lot a less painful.

 
Buy Nothing Day - Tyler @ 6:15 PM EST 11/11/00
Black Friday is the name given to the day after Thanksgiving Day. It is the busiest shopping day of the year. Everyone HAS to buy their Christmas presents on this day. Pollution, road rage, stress. They are all results of this day when most of America gets off their fat asses and goes to the mall.

Adbusters.org has a better idea. Make this day Buy Nothing Day. Dont spend a cent. Don't be part of the rat race this day. Keep your money in your wallet and your sanity in your head. Help make America better. Click on the link and watch their commercial.

 
The Anti-christ is here - Tyler @ 5:20 PM EST 11/11/00
In the Bible it is prophesized that an anti-christ will come around the year 2000. It is said that the antichrist will originally come as a peaceful being, bringing together the world. Making everything seem happy. What most people dont realize is that the antichrist is already here. It's been brewing for almost 30 years now.

What started out as a project for universities to connect to each other has now ended up becoming a force so powerful in most people's lives that it has become an addiction. The information superhighway (copyright Al Gore). The internet.

That's right, the internet. It has brought the world together and has changed the way we look at everything. Business has become even easier, buying any type of consumer merchandise is now a click away, personal communication has become free. Goodbye long trips to the stores, goodbye sending someone a letter, or using the telephone for long distance phone calls. Society has become addicted to binary code.

Pretty soon it will be unnecessary to leave the house, except for dire emergencies. The workforce will diminish to a new low, only left to physical laborers, who need to do work in the outside world. Every respectable company will have it's entire services listed online to use or purchase, making E-Commerce the norm of business. Executives wont have to leave their homes to run their corporations. Children wont have to leave their homes to go to school. Online churches, online parties, online sex.

Then when everyone gets all cozy in their online world, something will happen. The internet will face a severe shutdown. Companies will be ruined, jobs will be lost, lives will be rendered worthless. Before a solution can be made, people will commit suicide, riots will occur, Destruction is inevitable.

 
Spacemonkey Homework - Tyler @ 6:40 PM EST 11/09/00
Submitted by a Spacemonkey:

Required Items:
Large Flat Square of cardboard - 3'x3'
White Spray paint
Black Spray paint
Society unFriendly Slogan - like "Get the fuck off the phone"

Write the slogan on the cardboard in a large, good looking font, then cut out the letters. Find a street sign thats loss won't kill anyone, spray paint it white, then spray paint black letters through the cardboard onto the sign. You know you've done a good job if at first glance you don't realize its a tainted sign.

 
Things that own us - #1 Cell Phones - Jack @ 4:55 PM EST 11/06/00
Chained by technology. Welcome to the digital prison. The appeal of new technology is so great and it's propaganda so beautiful that we willingly lock ourselves in its cell. One great example is mobile phones (or cell phones). At what point did we think that we actually need cells phones? Maybe it was the fashion appeal, maybe it was its promise of being able to reach people, maybe it was just our love for new ideas, Portable. Small. Hateful. Bosses breathing down your neck, parents live beside your ear, spouse in your pocket. I don't get it, why do we willingly like to be reached? At least with pagers (also annoying), we could give the excuse that there wasn't a phone available. But with mobiles... "Yes, mom, I'm at the mall. Yes, mom, I'll be home early." Don't you hate it when you are having a conversation and someone's phone rings. It's technology's way of telling you to shut the fuck up, it's his turn to speak. "Okay, honey, I'll buy milk." Or how about the cell phone screaming in the middle of a movie? "What? Can't hear ya. The Yankees won? I'll take that phone and shove it down your throat, asshole.

Sell your mobile phone, you don't need it. If there is an emergency, just take someone else's phone. Every-fucking-one has one. If your boss tells you that you have to get one, claim paranoia. Tell him that research has shown that it is possible that cell phone users could get cancer. He can't put your life at risk, can he? Or if you aren't able to discard it (yet), just switch it off when you are conversing or in places with lots of other people. Ask your friends to do the same. Later claim to whoever was trying to reach you that the battery was not charged. And you still can't do that? Okay, wherever you are speaking, don't shout and keep it short., This is not Durdenism, it's just fucking manners.

Any comments o cell phones? E-mail us or discuss it with fellow space monkey's at the message board.

 
Voting - Tyler @ 4:25 PM EST 11/6/00
For those of you who are voting tomorrow in the election, make sure you consider your vote carefully. This man you are voting for will run your country for the next 4 years. While I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, I will tell you one person you can always trust:

 
Homework Assignments - Tyler @ 6:45 PM EST 11/4/00
Good evening spacemonkies. I have a task for you. Send in your ideas for any homework assignments that you would like to see get accomplished by the other members of Project Mayhem. All ideas will be accepted. Rack your brains and come up with some ingenious ways to get back at corporate America. Do you get pissed when you go out and see that in order to be accepted by society, you must adhere to their rules? Do you hate what you see walkig down the street or in the store window? Well now is the time to do something about it. Time to stand up for what you believe in. May the task be big or small. Simple or complicated. Send all ideas our way here to Tyler@tylerandjacks.com and put HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT in the title. I will go through these submissions and post some favorite on the site for the others to do or use as ideas for other assignments. I'm awaiting your submissions.

 
Scooters - Tyler @ 6:20 PM EST 11/4/00
Another thing I hate is trends. Especially in childrens toys. It seems that toys go in and out of style every time you turn your head. the last one I can think about is those Magic the Gathering cards. People were paying obscene amounts of money for a single pack of cards that would consist of the same cards that the person had already collected. Next came the Tamagotchis. Little electronic playpals that you would have to feed and take care of? Were they supposed to give children some sort of lesson in life, teaching them how to raise something and be in control of it's life? What the downside was is if they really wanted to teach children responsibility, they should have made them stop working once the animal died the first time, instead of letting the children consitently try again. There are no second chances after death in the real world.
Next was the Tickle Me Elmo. What a waste this toy was. Fetching upwards in the hundreds per toy near Christmas time, this toy offered about 5 minutes of playtime before the child got bored of it and tossed into the pile of crumpled wrapping paper with the rest of the trash. Next came to Pokemon. This is probably the worst of all, the onslaught of merchandise that cames from tis franchise amazes me. Everything from toys, to video games, to underwear was produced with the ever-so-cute Pikachu's face emblazoned upon it. Millions of America's dollars were spent on these toys and now the fad seems to be fading fast. The once lucritive franchise owned by Nintendo is now so 5 minutes ago. Enter new fad: Scooters. These things are dangerous and annoying. Every child in America has to have one. For a mere $100.00 per scooter.

Corporate america is dictating what should be bought. You didn't see this type of merchandise gluttony back in the 1800's. If it wasn't for the corporations tricking children into buying unnecessary goodies there would be more money in the banks and more happy faces on parents who don't have to scrounge through the toy stores trying to get the last super-limited-edition-gold-whatever-with-extra-features before the next one does.

I am Jack's Bloody Knuckles.
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